It’s The End Of The World As We Know It!!!!!
And I feel fine… because as the end comes, I’ll still be exploring the greatest library of games the world has ever known!!!
In the year 2000, we were bombarded with doomsday theories about our computer systems shorting out and our weapons technology turning on us. I still remember neighbors stockpiling water.
Now it is the year 2012 and we await the coming of the Mayan Apocalypse. Why is the world ending? Apparently because the Mayan Calendar ends. The funny thing is that a little tidbit of information is really the only justification we need to send our imaginations into overdrive. It seems to me that there is a fascination with world ending disaster that permeates every aspect of our culture. Books, movies…even video games.
So without further ado let us go on a journey and see what the game developers in the 90’s saw in their crystal balls. How did the world end in the many Super Nintendo universes that encompass the 16-bit era? And what are the chances of these predictions coming true today?
Let’s Find Out….
Foretold In: The Mega Man X Series
Predicted Outcome: Machines kill off most of the humans, and those who remain live under the protection of benevolent robots fighting a war with the evil robots known as the Reploids.
Probability of Reality: Unlikely. We may see the technology that leads to self-aware machines, but that would require that our best minds cease working on lemon-scented toilet paper and curing hair loss. They would have to work on something that matters, and that probably isn’t gonna happen.
Foretold In: The Actraiser Series
Predicted Outcome: As people lost faith in The Master, his strength weakened and he was defeated by the Lord Demon Tanzra. Demons inherit the earth until The Master re-awakens to kick some demon ass.
Probability of Reality: Impossible. Unless you happen to be Carrie’s Mom. In that case you’re living it. The world just isn’t interesting enough to have monsters such as Werewolves and Shape-Changers. This might be more viable in Harry Potter’s world.
Foretold in: Battle Clash and Metal Combat: Falcon’s Revenge
Predicted Outcome: In a world where every nation competes in a forced robotic duel to the death to gain supremacy, there is no more war. Just a determined young man out to avenge his father’s death.
Probability of Reality: It could happen… Who WOULDN’T want to watch giant robot duels on television as an alternative to warfare? Plus you KNOW Japan already got ’em.
Foretold In: Zombies Ate My Neighbors
Predicted Outcome: Zombies are attacking everywhere and EATING THE NEIGHBORS!!! It is up to two young Suburbanite youth to put them back in the grave using squirt guns and bottle rockets. And a weed-whacker…
Probability of Reality: We’re already there. One look at games, books, movies, and music tells you everything you need to know: Zombies rule the earth.
Foretold In: Final Fantasy III
Predicted Outcome: A madman blows up the world and only the pieces remain. What is left is nothing but misery and hopelessness.
Probability of Reality: Of all the SNES prophecies, this is the one that has the best shot! Though I doubt it will be caused by a mad clown moving some statues around! It’s a funny thing, though! Kefka was teaching me about mass murder long before I learned about it in school. And they say games are not educational…
Foretold In: Chrono Trigger
Predicted Outcome: After billions of years of feeding off of the earth’s energy, The alien parasite Lavos awakens and sucks the planet dry. Nothing remains except devastation, and the survivors have no food or resources. Only a seed of hope remains.
Probability of Reality: Not a chance. Though we really do need to figure out this time travel thingy just in case…
Foretold In: Soul Blazer, Illusion of Gaia, Terranigma
Predicted Outcome: Through a series of stupid choices, humankind has successfully sewed the seeds of their own destruction through bad bargains, mismanagement of resources, and meddling with powers beyond their comprehension. It is up to a brave young youth to correct the problems and in some cases, resurrect the planet.
Probability of Reality: Another one that hits close to home. We live in an age where mismanagement of the environment can be disastrous. Better be on our toes…
Doomsday Prophecy #8: GIYGAS!!!
Predicted Outcome: An alien consciousness with serious mommy issues is warping time and space and altering reality as we know it. This will culminate in the destruction of the universe. Unless the proper “Chosen Ones” are warned, the fate of the cosmos rests in the hands of a tiny bee…
Probability of Reality: Unlikely. Although it is a strange world, it does not come even CLOSE to Earthbound’s bizarre universe! The moment I start to encounter New Age retro hippies, manly fish brothers, and moles that all claim they are the third strongest monster in a dungeon, I’ll sound the alarm.
Doomsday Prophecy #9: The World of Stupid
Predicted Outcome: A totalitarian government takes over and deprives the youth of the world rock music and video games. Our only hope lies in the Band Aerosmith and one lone CD-hurling mercenary???
Probability of Reality: Not Gonna Happen. Even in an age where AeroSmith is relevant, this would be an impossibility. And if we ever come to a point when we must rely on a toneless and bored Brad Whitford to inspire us with his calls of “tear down the wall”, we might as well bow before our new overlords.
And with that we must end our consultation with the psychics of the 16-bit era. What other games contain pearls from the future? We must continue to look for answers.
HAVE AN ARTICLE YOU WANT TO SHARE?
You can submit articles on the Submissions page